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060817
LAW AND ORDER

Florida man learns 911 is not a chat line

The offbeat story of the week... or did we get that word backwards?

By Alex Salta

We've all been where Joshua Basso was on the evening of November 11. A quiet Wednesday night at home, sick of talking trash on Xbox Live, nothing good on Spike-TV, some warmed over Velveeta cooling in the kitchen... what's a swingin' bachelor

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Govspeak When Spoken Too.

"We're looking into it" = We have no idea

"I'll take that under advisement" = Dumb idea; thank God I don't work for you

"Highly Encouraged" = A good thing to do that I have no authority over

"Strongly Suggested" = I can't make you do it, but I can make your life hell if you don't 

"We plan to contract it out" = We have no idea how to do this

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Dear Bureaupat, I live in Washington, D.C. Can I just go to the Office of Personnel Management to get a copy of my SF-50? Dear Local, Wow, the questions about the SF-50, Notification of Personnel Action, just keep on rollin' in. Unfortunately, this Read More

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