1. "A Republican politician from Idaho has endorsed Barack Obama. The last time a Republican switched sides was in an airport men's room." --Craig Ferguson
2. "Democrats are furious, they're going on record now saying John Edwards will not be allowed to speak at the convention because of this affair. Yeah, instead speaking in his place: Bill Clinton. You have to put your foot down." --Jay Leno
3. "President Bush spent the week in China watching the Olympics. All the
while, he was taunting former President Bill Clinton - who was not in
China - by snapping and sending cell phone pictures of women's
volleyball players." --The OhMyGov! Team
4. "According to rumors, John McCain and Barack Obama
are trying to get Angelina Jolie's endorsement for the campaign, and
John Edwards is just trying to get her number." --Craig Ferguson
5. "A lot of people have said a guy who can't use a computer is the wrong
person for the White House. Last time I checked, the president only
needs to know how to press one button. And now comes proof that McCain
has learned to use a computer, because evidently, he has plagiarized
from the internet. Congressional Quarterly reported this week that
John McCain may have copied some facts in a recent speech on the
Georgian crisis from Wikipedia. I think it should have been obvious
when he referred to the country's leader as President 404 Error: File
Not Found." --Stephen Colbert
6. "If you vote for Obama, your penis is only as big
as a tire gauge. If you vote for McCain, your penis is the size of a
mighty oil rig." --Total Fark
7. "The Department of Homeland Security decided to crack down hard on their application process to prevent those convicted of crimes from obtaining a government job. The new policy requires hiring officials to "Google" the names of applicants to find out if they had ever been in trouble with the law. To test the policy, I Googled my own name, only to find the top search result "Naked Happy Girls," an erotic photography book created by a New York-based Andrew Einhorn. Rock solid policy DHS." --The other Andrew Einhorn
Read More:
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The week's best political jokes - 8/8/08
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DHS to use Google as background check for new hires