1. "A new McCain ad compares Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.  Apparently, Obama fired back by comparing McCain to George Burns and The Mummy." --The OhMyGov! Team

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2. "McCain is not backing down. He's defending the commercial, where he compared Barack Obama to Paris Hilton, as being 'all talk and little action.' That's what he said. Like Paris, Barack Obama is all talk and little action. Really? Has he seen her sex video? There is no talk. It is all action." --Jay Leno

3. "Demeaning Obama is not why this is a dick move by McCain. It's a dick move by McCain because one of the fine young ladies featured in this ad (on screen: photo of Paris Hilton)…her parents, the Hiltons, contributed $4,600, the maximum you can contribute, to the campaign of none other than John McCain. John McCain is saying to the Hiltons, 'I thank you kindly for your support. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a nationally televised dump on your daughter.'" --Jon Stewart

4. "Barack Obama gave a speech in Germany and 200,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." --Craig Ferguson

5. "Insiders say Hillary was never on Obama's VP list. Obama felt it would have been too much to put her on the ticket. Bad enough to worry about Jesse cutting them off, didn't want to worry about Hillary breaking them, too. You know what I'm saying?" --Jay Leno

6. "Then this morning, the senator paid a visit to the Western Wall, one of the holiest sites in Judaism, where he followed the custom of putting a message into one of the wall's crevices. It's typically a prayer God. Through my connections, I managed to get a hold of Obama's prayer. It reads, 'Dear God, Please protect my nuts from Jesse Jackson.' " --Stephen Colbert

7. "Barack Obama says that next month he's planning on spending a week on vacation in Hawaii. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Pace yourself, because once you become president, the vacations start coming fast and furious.'" --Conan O'Brien

8. "According to the TV show 'Extra,' former vice president Dan Quayle (e.g. Mr. potato), is in the running to join the cast of 'Dancing with the Stars.' This is true. Apparently he tried out for the show "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?" but failed to make the cut." --The OhMyGov! Team

9. "Yesterday, the United Nations announced that it will increase the interior temperature of their 39-story office headquarters in New York City by 5 degrees Fahrenheit, pushing the temperature to 77 degrees. What better way to make sure 4,500 people of varying cultural and political backgrounds work cohesively and without conflict than to cram them all into a building and crank up the heat!" --The OhMyGov! Team

10. "There's a lot of what they call buzz going around in the blogosphere right now that Barack Obama will choose the Governor of Virginia, this guy Tim Kaine, to be his running mate. Officially Obama hasn't said anything, all they say is that he's narrowed the pool of candidates down to 'Not Hillary.'" --Jimmy Kimmel