1. "After spending
millions of her own money on her bid for President, Hillary Clinton
will now be auctioning off her pantsuits on eBay to recoup some of the
money. Apparently you can buy her suits with or without Bill Clinton's
signature on them." --The OhMyGov! Team
2. "People are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Would that be a good ticket? And I think this would be the first, if
you think about it, first combination of an African American man and a
white woman since, well, Michael Jackson." --David Letterman
3. "The 33 drivers participating in last Sunday's 92nd running of the
Indianapolis 500 were distracted by sky-high gas prices, which rose
three times during the race, causing several crashes and an exceedingly
high number of caution flags." --Freeasspress.com
4. "Now that Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee, Americans are going
to have to choose between the 46-year-old Obama and the 71-year-old John McCain. That's the choice. In other words, it's a choice between the Hillary-defeater or the Wal-Mart greeter." --Conan O'Brien
5. "During her speech last night, you know, Hillary kept referring to
Barack as 'my friend, my friend.' You notice, every time she called
Barack 'my friend,' she said it in the same tone as when she calls
Bill, 'my husband.'" --Jay Leno
6. "Looks like Barack Obama has won the nomination. Congratulations. And
Hillary Clinton is about to drop out. She has not dropped out
officially. That means Bill Clinton's about to hear those three words
he's been dreading: 'Honey, I'm home!'" --Jay Leno
7. "Dick Cheney
has apologized to the people of West Virginia for making a joke about
inbreeding at their expense. To show his sincerity, he has invited all the politicians from West Virginia who publicly chastised him for the comment on a hunting trip." --The OhMyGov! Team
8. "Oh, and in his speech last night, John McCain said we must get off of
fossil fuels. See, that's why a lot of people admire McCain. That's why
he's considered such a maverick. Here you have a fossil, coming out
against fossil fuel." --Jay Leno
9. "Sex and the City the movie opened this weekend. Apparently Bill Clinton attended the premier. When asked his thoughts on the movie, he expressed confusion as he thought it was a documentary about his days in the White House" --The OhMyGov! Team
10. We give the final word to Daily Show host Jonathan Stewart, who pointed out that Barak Obama could be the first black President since season two of 24.