"Hillary Clinton's
campaign right now, this very minute, is $20 million in debt. Now, when
she gets that 3 a.m. call, it's from a collection agency." --David
Letterman
"I don't know if Barack Obama's getting tired or what, but in a recent speech, Barack Obama made a mistake. He said he had visited all 57 states. Yeah, that's what he said. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Haha, he forgot Alaska and Hawaii!'" --Conan O'Brien
"Jenna Bush
is getting married over the weekend. But she did not sign a prenup.
Apparently, the family doesn't believe in exit strategies." --Craig
Ferguson
"Yesterday on 'Live with Regis and Kelly,' John McCain showed one of
his baby pictures. That was nice. The picture was on loan from the
Museum of Natural History. Yeah, it was beautiful. It shows him
discovering fire and bringing it to the village." --Conan O'Brien
The Obama camp is busy printing T-shirts that highlight Obama as an instrument of change. In response, McCain's campaign director began printing shirts bearing the words "McCain: A New Kind of Old White Guy." --The OhMyGov! Team
"Senator John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama
for president of the United States. Wow! Wow. He is going to need more
than two Americas to hide from Hillary Clinton. Well, with that
endorsement, I believe the Obama camp has won the support of its first
white male." --Stephen Colbert
"According to a survey in U.S. News & World Report, 32 percent of Americans think John McCain is too old to be president. The other 68 percent who participated in the survey are retired and living in Ft. Lauderdale." --The OhMyGov! Team