"Hillary Clinton says she isn't dropping out because there are still six states that haven't had their Democratic primary. That's right. Barack Obama's favored in the states of Oregon, Montana and South Dakota, and Hillary is favored in the state of denial." --Conan O'Brien

"Former President Clinton gave a campaign speech for Hillary while standing on the back of a pickup truck. True. And like all the speeches Bill Clinton gives in the back of a pickup truck, it began, 'You have beautiful eyes.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Hey, you know who is getting married this weekend? One of the Bush sisters. Jenna Bush, is getting married this weekend at her father's place in Crawford, Texas. And this is no surprise: the $2 billion ice sculpture contract went to Halliburton." --David Letterman

"I guess it's neck and neck with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. They've got a big primary tomorrow, and they're everywhere right now. Yesterday's entire 'Meet the Press' was devoted to Barack Obama, while the entire 'This Week with George Stephanopoulos' was devoted to Hillary Clinton. ... Meanwhile, John McCain spent the day watching a 'Golden Girls' marathon." --Conan O'Brien