Thomas Edison is an enemy of the state. 

Now dead 77 years, Edison's most famous invention is apparently destroying the environment, which in this day and age is as bad as Islamo-fascism. 

Congress and the President have decided that the common incandescent light bulb, famously invented by Edison, must be phased out by 2014.  H.R. 6, known on the street as the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, was signed into law and contains a provision that establishes minimum standards for incandescent lamps, and the widespread Edison model does not make the grade.

The government's latest and unintentionally brightest cure-all is to replace standard incandescent bulbs with compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs), whose energy efficiency is estimated to save America's pocketbooks and Mother Earth's atmosphere all at once.

A two-for-one deal? Since when is the government supposed to be efficient?  After all, James Madison's vision of a government saddled by faction to prevent tyranny includes avoiding this exact kind of sweeping, drastic change.

US Representative Ted Poe (R-TX) opposes the CFL bulb mandate.  He argues that Congress does not have the authority to regulate how people light their homes, especially when such regulation requires an interference with how Americans live their lives.  

For instance, CFLs are known to interfere with wireless devices.  They are made almost exclusively in China-and like everything from China, they contain lead.  

Because the bulbs also contain mercury, they must be disposed of according to specific and extensive EPA regulations (totaling 3 pages, single-spaced).  If the fragile bulb is broken, for instance, people must evacuate the room, shut off their central air, pick up the pieces without the aid of a broom or vacuum, and place the fragments in a glass jar with a metal lid. On the bright side, people will finally have a use for empty pasta sauce jars.  

Rep. Poe sardonically noted that if he dropped the CFL bulb used as a prop during his speech to Congress, the Capitol building would have to be evacuated.  Perhaps this is the kind of "efficiency" Madison feared so much.

To be fair, mercury is just as much a byproduct of burning coal-which powers 51 percent of all US electricity-as it is a CFL component.  When coal is burned in a power plant, the impurities within the rock are expunged as particulates along with the tons of carbon dioxide gas.  Since incandescent bulbs require three to four times the energy input as CFLs, three to four times as much mercury (nation-wide) will be emitted from the coal-burning plants powering them.

Additionally, there is enough molecular uranium released through coal-burning that, if it could be harvested, its fission would provide the same amount of energy as the coal that bore it.  Evidently, irony is also a byproduct of fossil fuel energy.

So mercury pollution is produced in the coal power that lights Edison's bulbs just as in CFL disposal.  In this way, mercury is like a rainy day: slippery and unavoidable.  The same has been said about the government.

Meanwhile, two regular 60-watt light bulb sell for $3.99 at CVS.  The equivalent CFL costs 2 for $6.99, but is purported to "last up to 10 times longer than regular bulbs."

Although standard bulbs cost less, they must be replaced ten times as often.  And as they burn, they draw power to release heat as well as light, raising electric bills.  So while you waste energy repeatedly climbing a ladder to replace last year's Edison bulbs, pause to consider how those old-school bulbs waste energy right there with you.

Interestingly, the incandescent bulb may not always be a short-lived, energy hog.  General Electric Co., founded by Edison, says that imminent technological innovations may lead, over the next couple of years, to an incandescent bulb as efficient as CFLs, with comparable quality.  If this proves true, without the added disposal costs that CFLs necessitate, conventional bulbs might be the efficient option after all.

It is unclear whether these innovative incandescent bulbs will adhere to the new federal efficiency standards that ban Edison's model.  We cannot know, because they simply do not exist yet.  

We do know that when Congress acts on good intentions to limit American liberty-which is exactly what a requirement to buy poisonous Chinese products can be construed as-it can hardly be described as efficient.  Got any more bright ideas, Congress?