10. "Romney won Florida. Have you taken a good look at Romney and his
wife? They look like a couple in a Levitra commercial." –David Letterman
9. “A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs.
Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs.” –Jimmy
Fallon
8. “More problems for Newt Gingrich; he's now been told that he cannot legally
use ‘Eye of the Tiger’ anymore, so he's switching back to Viagra.” –Jay Leno
7. "After he wowed the crowd at
the Apollo Theater with his singing voice, producers at 'American Idol' have
invited President Obama to sing on their show this season. Not to be outdone, Ron Paul's book will be appraised on the next
edition of 'Antiques Roadshow.'" –Jay Leno
6. “According to new polls that just came out, Mitt Romney does very well with
Republican voters who make more than $200,000. Or as Romney calls them,
‘trailer trash.’” –Conan O’Brien
5. "Mitt didn't just beat Newt Gingrich, he stomped him by a devastating
14 percent margin. Fourteen percent! That is higher than Mitt's tax rate."
–Stephen Colbert
4. “Yes, Mitt finally released his tax
returns for one year. It turns out he keeps a lot of his money in the Cayman
Islands, in Bermuda, Luxemburg, a Swiss bank account. And he said he’s not
trying to evade paying taxes by keeping his money in these places. That’s like
saying I got caught with meth and crack, but it wasn’t because I was trying to
get high.” –Bill Maher
3. “This is real; Newt Gingrich is
being sued by the guy who wrote the song, ‘Eye of the Tiger.’ He's using it in
his campaign. Gingrich says he wants the song because he's a big fan of Rocky.
He loves Rocky. Did he see the movie? Didn't Rocky lose to the black guy?
Hello. Isn't that what happened? Am I wrong?” –Jay Leno
2. “Over the weekend, Herman Cain
announced that he is endorsing Newt Gingrich. Well sure, adulterers like to
stick together. You never know when you need an alibi. You cover for me, I'll
cover for you.” –Jay Leno
1.“Newt Gingrich is not conceding
Florida. He said that Florida has made it clear that this is a two-person race.
Yeah, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.” –Jay Leno
