Credit: ABC News
The mystern man
A few weeks ago we here at OhMyGov threw our considerable political influence behind California gubernatorial candidate Douglas Hughes, a candidacy that has since picked up quite a bit of steam...and by "quite a bit" we mean "absolutely none." But we're not going to let a little thing like reality get in the way, so onward and upward with the most coveted political endorsement this side of NAMBLA.
Today we are proud to offer our support to a candidate you might not know much about. Of course we're assuming you don't know much about him because it appears neither the people of his state nor the members of his own party know much about him either...oh sounds like a spooky mystery! Yes that's right, we are talking about South Carolina Democratic senate nominee Alvin Greene, a true man for all seasons.
Greene, who the New York Times describes as "an unemployed Army veteran," shocked the political establishment in the Palmetto State last week when he soundly defeated the heavily favored establishment candidate, veteran lawmaker Vic Rawl, for the right to be the Democratic challenger to incumbent Sen. Jim DeMint this fall. Greene, who has refused to explain how he came up with the $10,440 required to officially register as a candidate, has no previous political experience.
Experience doesn't seem to be the only thing Greene lacks. It is just another item on a list that includes political allies, a campaign website, or any discernible positions on...well, anything really. "There is something genuinely mysterious about this whole thing," former Democratic National Chairman (and South Carolina native) Don Fowler told the Times. And he doesn't seem to be the only one with questions about The Man from Manning.
Rep. Jim Clyburn, perhaps to the most powerful Democrat in the state, has publicly accused Greene of being a Republican plant placed on the ballot by GOP operatives seeking to undermine any serious challenge to DeMint. Meanwhile Rawl has called for a formal investigation into the election results.
Coming less than a year after Governor Mark Sanford's infamous love hike, this is yet another oddball political story bringing national attention to a state that hasn't been subjected to this much ridicule since the heyday of Hootie and The Blowfish.
"We have embarrassment fatigue here," former state Democratic chairman Dick Harpootlian told the Times. "If there is an embarrassment equivalent of post-traumatic stress disorder, South Carolina has it."
An unemployed veteran with no apparent public recognition who also happens to be facing felony obscenity charges stemming from a November incident in which he allegedly showed pornography to a college student being labeled an "embarrassment"? Once again the establishment shows just how woefully out of touch it truly is.
But it is Greene's reaction to his newfound fame that has truly inspired those of us who would like to believe that there is still a place for the little guy in 21st century politics. When reached by the New York Times on the phone for an interview, Greene summed up his various nuanced policy stances succinctly. "Can I end this?" he asked. Finally, someone who tells it like it is!
The heir apparent's media tour continued late last week with an appearance on Countdown with Keith Olbermann that...well you know what? You should probably just watch it for yourself.
We would go into greater detail about Greene's positions on everything from the economy to national security if it weren't for the fact that he has no actual public positions on any issue of importance to either the state of South Carolina or the nation at large. And it is for that very reason that he is the quintessential candidate for these troubling times.
Alvin Greene is a man who is all things to all people; a devoted something or other, a longtime supporter of various causes or differing levels of importance, a tireless advocate of assorted stuff, and most importantly a man who if elected will not rest until he accomplishes that thing that that guy was talking about that one time. Alvin Greene: the human embodiment of the "What The Gov?" philosophy of ya know, whatever.
