We can't cover every story out there, much as we try. But the least we can do is let you know we are paying attention to breaking news across the government sphere, and to explain our choices for bypassing these big stories. 

5. Unemployment rate in U.S. tops 10%
Not to worry — at this rate, a lot of jobs will be opening up in Congress in 2010

4. Levi Johnston Posing in Playgirl magazine
Of all the people in the Sarah Palin saga we'd like to see naked, he's not one of them

3. Cheney unable to recall pivotal details about CIA leak in 2004 FBI interview
Actually, we can't recall why we decided not to cover this. It was way back on, like, Tuesday.

2. Wacky website of N.C. House candidate makes waves
Is his platform a return to 1950s-era traditional values or 1994-era Web values?

1. Bloomberg reelected as mayor of New York City
Now if Steinbrenner would only learn that money can indeed buy success!

And on a tragic note:

Horror at Ft. Hood: Nothing we can say except to express sympathy to the families and friends for the loss of their loved ones

(with a hat tip to Evan Morier)