10. "A day after declaring war on the moon, President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." --Jimmy Kimmel

9. "Rush Limbaugh, who is trying to buy the St. Louis Rams, has downplayed racial comments that he's made in the past by saying if he was a racist, why would he want to be part of a business that is 70% African American? Well, I don't know. Maybe because you would own them? Think that has anything to do with it?" --Jay Leno

8. Well, the big story out of Washington is this healthcare bill passed the Senate Finance Committee by a vote of 14-9, I believe it was. The Bill cost over $800 billion. And that's just what lobbyists had to give to members of Congress." --Jay Leno

7. "Do you know in Washington today, a Republican senator from Maine voted with the Democrats on health care? That's the first time a Republican switched sides and was not arrested in an airport bathroom." --Craig Ferguson

6. "And for the first time in a year, the Dow closed above 10,000. You know what that means? More AIG bonuses!" --Jay Leno

5. "In a surprise decision, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize Friday. In other premature awards this week: high school football player Billy Reynolds has been named this year's Heisman Trophy winner; fifth grader Amber Collins has been named Miss America; and nine-year-old Dylan Holt has been named People's 'Sexiest Man Alive.'" --Seth Meyers

4. "And, of course, the Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. And the Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin wrote a book. So, it's even." --Jay Leno

3. "Yesterday, Israel threatened to attack Iran if international sanctions are not placed by Christmas, to which people in both nations said, 'Um, what's Christmas?'" --Jimmy Fallon

2. "Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he's not too busy with the two wars he's conducting." --Bill Maher

1. "The White House admitted that they made a mistake by not inviting women to play in President Obama's basketball game last night. Although it would have made 'shirts vs. skins' a little awkward. " --Jimmy Fallon

Also Funny:

[+] The week's 10 best political jokes — October 9, 2009

[+] Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans