1.    Someone at the White House made a big mistake yesterday. They flew Air Force One right over the city of New York, which scared the hell out of a lot of people. Thousands of people panicked. Some of them even evacuated their office buildings, and it was all because they wanted to get a picture of the President's plane next to the Statue of the Liberty. We have the first president ever who can use Facebook, but his staff does not know how to use Photoshop." --Jimmy Kimmel

2.    "Hey, have you all started making your summer vacation plans? I'm not sure what to do this year. I'm stuck between a Somali pirate cruise or a trip to a Mexican pig farm." --Jay Leno

3.    "President Obama is celebrating his first 100 days in office. How about that? I don't care whether you're a Democrat or a Republican, this guy has really had quite a lot to deal with. I mean, let's take a look at the list -- recession, two wars, swine flu, runaway Air Force One. Crazy." --David Letterman

4.    "The President held a press conference tonight in prime time. All the major networks carried it, except Fox. They ran the show 'Lie to Me' instead of the president. Fox is something -- they killed President David Palmer off '24,' they put his brother, President Wayne Palmer, into a permanent coma, and now this. What does Fox have against black Presidents?" --Jimmy Kimmel

5.    "Seventy-nine-year-old Arlen Specter is now switching to the Democratic Party, which is a big loss for Republicans. You know, when they lose that young blood, it hurts." --Jay Leno

6.    "This is, I mean, this is exciting. Air Force One was in New York City and apparently nobody knew. They didn't make the call. Hello! Air Force One comes to New York City and wants to take some pictures. They send it right up and start buzzing New York City. I mean, isn't this something you would expect from the Bush Administration?" --David Letterman

7.    "Specter announced he'd become a Democrat and the Republicans are like, 'Yeah, he's been a Democrat for about 15 years.'" --Craig Ferguson

8.    "Now, here's the difference between President Obama and our previous Democratic president, President Clinton. President Obama enjoyed playing a round of golf. President Clinton just enjoyed playing around." --David Letterman

9.    "In a new interview, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad complained that President Obama hasn't been returning his messages. No offense Mahmoud, but maybe he's just not that into you." --Craig Ferguson

10.    "Oh, on Friday, President Obama was taken to a secure location in the White House after a single engine plane strayed over White House air space. As a precaution, they took the President to a place in the White House nobody even knew existed -- Joe Biden's office." --Jay Leno