1. "We're down to the Final Four now. And by that I mean we're down to the
last four working banks in America." - Craig Ferguson
2.
"So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're
bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you
know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if
you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the
government?" --Jay Leno
3. "Barack Obama met with the Queen of England today. There was one
embarrassing moment when the Obamas were meeting the Royal Family. The
Queen said, 'Have you met my son, Charles?' And the Obamas turned to
Camilla and said, 'Yes, how do you do?'" --Jay Leno
4. "A lot of excitement there, though, at the G20 summit. They are giving
away a door prize. Yeah, this year, it's Iceland." - David Letterman
5. "Actually, President Obama guarantees that if you buy a G.M. or
Chrysler product and they don't survive, they will back your warranty.
Well, that's great news for consumers. Combine the efficiency of the
Federal government with the honesty of car mechanics." - Jay Leno
6. "President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first
presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to
fire the C.E.O.s of B.M.W. and Volkswagen." - David Letterman
7. "But you know what he's doing there? It's the G20 summit, in which the
20 major economic powers get together and meet. And sadly, this year,
the U.S. just missed the cut." - David Letterman
8. "You know what's interesting? Today, a reporter in Crawford, Texas,
asked former President George Bush how he felt about General Motors and
Bush said, 'You know, since I left office, I don't really follow the
Iraq war anymore.'" - Jay Leno
9. "It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the
Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her,
and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the
President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." - Craig Ferguson
10. "And China says it wants to replace the U.S. dollar with a new global
currency. They want to move from a gold-based standard to a lead-based
standard." - Jay Leno
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