1. "That Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush the other day said he planned his attack for months. Planned it for months? That's what he said! I mean, take off one shoe. You throw it. You throw the other shoe. He planned it for months. And he still missed both times!" --Jay Leno

2. "I was impressed by how nimbly President Bush was able to dodge those shoes. I know he's got a lot of dodging experience from his years during the Vietnam War, but this was pretty slick." --Jimmy Kimmel

3. "The Illinois Supreme Court refused to hear a motion to throw  Governor Blagojevich out of office. Afterwards, Blagojevich thanked the Supreme Court and said, 'Your check is in the mail!'" --Conan O'Brien

4. "You know who it is a great day for? Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who still has his job. He didn't resign. Everyone thought he would. Looks like his plan is to keep hanging on, even though the game is over. Political experts call this strategy 'the Hillary Clinton.'" --Craig Ferguson

5. "This week, Dick Cheney was interviewed by ABC News, and he said that he will miss being vice president. Then he said, 'And I'll really miss being president.' That was the best part." --Conan O'Brien

6. "And you can tell, President Bush, you know, he's not a financial guy. God bless him, but he doesn't understand anything. Like, when they tried to explain the Ponzi scheme, he said, 'Wait a minute, Ponzi, you're confusing two people. It's either Potsy or Fonzie.'" --Jay Leno

7. "It's been reported that former President Clinton may have to testify at Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearing. That's right. Clinton says, 'This time, when I say 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman,' it'll be true." --Conan O'Brien

8. "And it's not just here in America. Queen Elizabeth has announced that the economy is so bad in England, she is asking all members of the royal family to reduce their spending, otherwise, they would face the ultimate disaster, you know, having to get a real job." --Jay Leno

9. "The bright side to all of this is the Iraqi economy must be going well if a guy can afford to throw a perfectly good pair of shoes. Journalists over here can't even afford a pair of flip-flops." --Craig Ferguson

10. "Time magazine reports that  Governor Blagojevich has an approval rating 4%. That's with a margin of error of 5%. That means he could actually disapprove of himself." --Jay Leno