1. "You know, do you realize this is our first black president since the first season of '24'?" --Jay Leno
2. "Did you see the concession speech last night? John McCain
was generous. He was gracious. He was statesman-like. And I was
thinking well, he should have tried that earlier." --David Letterman
3. "The real challenge, though, is for Joe Biden because he's got to figure out how to get Dick Cheney out of the vice presidential mansion. As you know, Dick Cheney is armed and has a history of shooting old men." --Jimmy Kimmel
4. "But right about now Joe the plumber is meeting with his transition team. They're going to help ease him from obscurity back to oblivion." --David Letterman
5. "President Bush called Sen. Obama last night to congratulate him and
this is an actual quote. He said, 'What an awesome night for you and
your family.' I think his eloquence is what we will remember most about Bush." --Jimmy Kimmel
6. "How about Sarah Palin,
ladies and gentlemen. Right now on her way back to Alaska. And I'm
thinking oh, I wouldn't want to be a moose now." --David Letterman
7. "Sarah
Palin was pretty upset over her loss. And she's going to be even more
upset when she gives her clothes to charity as promised. Thankfully
Bill Clinton will be there to console her, having volunteered to
collect her clothes." -- The OhMyGov! Team
8. "During the concession speech, every time that McCain would mention
Barack Obama, people booed. And finally, McCain could not ignore it any
longer, and he had to stop the speech. He said, 'All right, that’s
enough, Hillary.'" --David Letterman
9. "Hey if you think about it, President Bush is at least partially
responsible for us having our first black president, so never let it be
said he didn't accomplish anything. Maybe George Bush doesn't hate black people after all." --Jimmy Kimmel
10. "Well, right after Barack Obama won,
TV cameras caught Jesse Jackson with tears
in his eyes. Not because Barack won, because now he'll never get the chance to cut off his balls." --The OhMyGov! Team
11. "And of course the big mantra was 'Yes, we can!' Unless you're a gay
couple in California, then it's, 'No, you can't.'" --Jay Leno
12. "And in what has to be one of the most ridiculous moments yesterday, it
looks like convicted
Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska has won re-election. How
does that make the guy who lost feel, huh? What's that concession speech
like? 'We gave it our best, but the voters are preferred a convicted,
84-year-old felon who's going to prison.'" --Jay Leno
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