1. "They had the town hall format, and that meant that the candidates
could wander around on stage. You know, I like John McCain, but wandering around on stage there, he looked like a retiree who can't find his Buick." --David Letterman
2.
"Are you excited about Sarah Palin?
Well, yesterday she referred to Afghanistan as our neighboring country.
Apparently, she can see bin Laden's cave from her house." --David
Letterman
3. "Sarah Palin, Miss Alaska,
is saying she doesn't know who Barack Obama really is. That's
interesting because she also doesn't know who Sarkozy is, Gordon Brown,
Kim Jong-Il, Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Osama bin Laden." --David
Letterman
4. "Of course, Barack Obama criticized John McCain for singing 'Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.' Remember that? Ironically, it's now the number one song in Israel." --Jay Leno
5. "In Boca Raton, Florida, yesterday, a woman who looked like Sarah Palin
caused a near riot when she walked into a diner for breakfast. But
after a minute or two, people finally realized it wasn't her when she
started answering questions." --Jay Leno
6. "Of course, the most controversial thing Sarah Palin said last night
was she felt the vice president should have more power. More power?
Dick Cheney is shooting people in the face and doesn't even get arrested. You cannot get any more powerful than that." --Jay Leno
7. "President Bush's response to this economic crisis
was to meet with some small business owners at a soda shop in San
Antonio, Texas, this week. Well, the bad news? The small business
owners are now General Motors, General Electric, and Century 21." --Jay
Leno
8. "Time magazine says that the winner of the presidential election in
Florida will be determined by voters under the age of 30. In case you're
wondering, the Florida voters under 30 are named Kyle and Stacy."
--Conan O'Brien
9. "Hey, did you all watch the debate last night between Barack Obama and
John McCain? You know, all the networks had their own spin on it. Like,
ABC called it 'Dancing Around the Questions.' I thought that was pretty
good. MTV billed it as 'Ebony and History.'" --Jay Leno
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